I Don't Ask Why

At the end of June my 5-week old son was diagnosed with cancer.  Since that the diagnosis, many people express to me that they do not understand why God would give my child cancer or not heal him in some miracle fashion. Others try to comfort me by telling me that even though we don't know why, God is good, and He has a plan. I appreciate people trying to put a voice what I may be feeling or help me with what they guess I am thinking, the problem is, I don't God why. 


My main reason is because it's not going to change what is happening. Knowing why God doesn't take away my child's cancer, won't cure Him. It won't change the current situation. And on top of that, I don't have the time or emotional energy to try to guess an answer to a question that we will never know the answer too.


Above that, we are not called to ask why as Christians. It's a natural reaction but in the end, it's not what Jesus is asking of us. 


Why was that person mean to me? It doesn't matter, forgive them anyways (Matthew 18:21-35).


Why is that person making bad decisions? It doesn't matter, love them anyways (Matthew 5:43-48).


Why doesn't that person appreciate what I do? It doesn't matter, help them anyways. (Galatians 6:10)


Now I understand that is an over simplification. Many times it helps to know why someone is doing something helps you can address the root issues, and better help that person. The main point for Jesus is that why is the not the goal, how we treat others is.


In this case, asking God why He is letting my son have cancer does not help, if anything it only will drive a wedge between God and I. I refuse to let that happen. If there was ever a time I needed to be strong in Him, it's now. 


The world is broken. We can't fix that.  In my view, it's easier when you accept that the world just sucks. It's not being pessimistic, it's biblical reality.


 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” –John 16:33


But what is also real is that God really does help us manage this awful world. God is the good in the world, and boy, does He show up. Sometimes you just have to pay very close attention or be patient.


Through this...times of feeling overwhelmed, helpless, confused, and just not having the strength to move forward...I don't get stuck on asking why. I ask God to teach me how to lean on Him and to show me where I need to be, because I know that is what is going to get me through. God is so beyond good, He will take care of us. 


By Jen Armitage